“Genuine happiness can only be achieved when we transform our way of life from the unthinking pursuit of pleasure to one committed to enriching our inner lives, when we focus on ‘being more’ rather than simply having more.” – Daisaku Ikeda

Happiness is one of those things that doesn’t have a universal indicator, it simply means something different to each individual.

Sure, a smile is generally considered to be a sign of joy, but who’s to say that smile isn’t just a guise? I’ve noticed that we as human beings are naturally brilliant actors, especially when it comes to concealing our true emotions.

What we’re constantly portraying on the outside (a happy, euphoric persona), doesn’t necessarily match what festers on the inside. And what’s really on the inside, the content of our inner self, is all a matter of perspective.

Yes, sadness, stress, and serious situations are unavoidable parts of life and these do tend to derail our joy. Yet, it is still up to us to find glints of happiness even in our darkest moments and recover. 

For genuine happiness is a form of self-service and has very little to do with external forces (most notably other people). It’s about contentment with self.

And so today, we’ll be looking at 3 signs that should clearly indicate to you that your happiness is either authentically sound or concernedly fake.

(If you’re new to the blog, it’s really awesome to have you here. And if you’re no stranger, welcome back! By all means, do enjoy the content and come back anytime. You’re always welcomed here in my little space to be creative.)

#1. You’re Too Involved In The Affairs Of Others

What I’ve learnt from other genuinely happy individuals and from myself in my own journey to becoming authentically happy, is that sincerely happy people usually don’t have a lot of time on their hands.

And when I say time on their hands, I mean time to watch and analyze the details of other people’s lives. These individuals are people who make minding their own business a lifestyle.

So, if you happen to be or know someone who ALWAYS seems to have nothing to do but gossip about irrelevant people, it most likely means that person is not happy.

They simply don’t have enough fulfillment in their own life, so they try to couch that emptiness by monitoring and criticizing the lives of their more active, non-bothersome counterparts.

Genuinely happy individuals are so much consumed with enriching their lives that a lot of news concerning others comes to them late or flies right by their heads.

They may come of as aloof, but really they’ve just come to the grand realization that the more you focus on YOUR OWN FUNKY BUSINESS, the more fulfillment your life will entail.

And I honestly can’t blame people or myself for adapting this mindset. Life really is too short of a fart to watch and spectate over the affairs of others, especially when you’re not earning anything from it. (Hell, at least Talk Show Hosts like Wendy Williams get paid to gossip on a televised platform, while y’all do it for free.)

Truly, your day-to-day life shouldn’t consist of ‘wait, see, and discuss’, it should be about ‘going out there and doing!’ Oh, and here’s a nifty rule of thumb to sift out an unhappy soul in this regard:

If an individual can’t talk more than 5 minutes about what’s going on in their life, or what they’re working on, or give their take on some sort of personal ideal or event, that person is UNHAPPY.

Stop watching everybody else live their best life in scorn and envy; nobody BUT YOU is holding you back from being great too. In all due respect, SHUT YA FLIPPING MOUTH UP!

#2. You’re Seeking Attention/Approval Through Your Pursuits

Okay, this is a major one. Take a minute and ask yourself, what motivates you to do the things you’ve set out to accomplish? (Seriously, I want you to think about it.)

Was it to positively impact the lives of others? To prove to yourself that you’re worth your own efforts? Or was it to prove a point to somebody else, to get their approval or their recognition (especially from those who you know despise you)?

If your source of motivation sounds anything close to the latter, then there’s a need for concern. Allow me to put this point into perspective with an example. (I love making up these scenarios by the way!)

Meet Carla and Joanne. Carla just graduated from high school and is off to university where she intends to study journalism since she has both a talent and passion for writing.

However, her Mother Joanne (who is a nurse) is forcing her to walk in her footsteps for the simple fact that she believes Carla won’t make any money from what she loves doing.

To take it a step further, Joanne also carries this mindset of “MY MONEY, MY RULES. NO NURSE, NO SCHOOL.” So against her will, poor Carla pursues this career path she has no interest in and does well in the classes, only to please her demanding mother.

She’s not one to make a fuss about things, so she puts on a smile whenever a relative or friend of her mom asks her how college life is treating her. She wants the world to perceive her as happy and not be critical of her mom. Even though she’s internally hurting.

Another example of this point would be flexing on social media. Yes, there’s nothing wrong with posting a pic or a status here and there to commemorate a moment that brought you joy.

But if you’re the type of person who has no sense of privacy and feels as if you must compete with others on the socials, then you’re unhappy. Life isn’t all about competition, stop comparing your Chapter 4 to somebody’s Chapter 20.

Stop sharing every insignificant aspect of your life to try to one-up somebody or prove to yourself that you are indeed happy. Grow an appreciation for privacy and learn to take wins unnoticed.

It’s okay to appreciate your life offline too yinno. Stop allowing the source of your happiness to be the acceptance, support, approval, or attention of others.

Do you, for you.

#3. You’re Constantly Reconnecting With Your Past

Listen, life happens. And when you’re enjoying this daily journey of happiness, you’re going to outgrow some people. Not everyone is going to appreciate your newfound glow, and that’s fine. That has nothing to do with you.

But what does concern you is not allowing these same negative people, these former dependencies, these toxic habits, these addictions, to corrupt your happiness.

I’ve had to personally come to understand this for myself. I’ll do my best to explain what this feels like: It’s like you were constantly chasing after the things or people that no longer added any value to your life.

It’s because you really were afraid to be judged or dismissed for reaching a point of authentic happiness. You felt it was somehow unfair for you to move on in peace and leave that aspect of your former self behind. (The part of you that diligently depended on the communication, company, or feeling of that person or destructive habit.)

You delved down parts of yourself, dimmed your light, and for what? To protect the ego/feelings of someone who continues to bring you unhappiness? At some point, you fell for the potential of that person.

And in doing so, you were blinded from the reality of who they really are – someone whose time has expired in your life.

So with ALLLLLLL of that said, I say to you today, my awesome, intelligent, and success-bounded reader, stop going back to the same person, job, situation, or addiction that brought you nothing but turmoil, confusion, and unhappiness.

You’re truly better than that. Stop checking up on the past or your future’s going to eventually get annoyed and leave you behind.

**Final Thoughts**

I think I’ve said quite enough already. So I’ll close with a brief summary.

Remember, your happiness should be more focused, goal-oriented and catered toward enriching your inner-self. It should not be fueled by the need to be approved or noticed by others. And it sure as hell doesn’t live in the past, only the present and in the future.

Do you, for you. And start living a genuinely happier life today!

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Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you next time on Introverted-Insight!

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