NEWSFLASH: You’ve Been Outgrown!

“When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. They wanted her to change back into what she always had been. But she had wings.” 

Dean Jackson

Sometimes when things are heading toward a dead-end, whether it be a friendship, relationship, or stage in our lives, we tend to avoid admitting it to ourselves. We deny the possibility that we’ve outgrown the things of yesteryear because it breeds discomfort.

This is especially the case when dealing with other people. We grow tired of doings things together that we once found so enjoyable. We grow bored of their presence and their antics which once filled us with amusement.

And in most cases, we don’t face the realization that the reason we’ve outgrown their company is for our highest good. Consequently, this results in trying to convince others and ourselves that we’re still the same as we’ve always been. But I assure you, it’s okay to grow.

So today, we’ll be looking at 5 signs that clearly indicate you’ve outgrown someone. And by the end of this post, you’ll be ready to embrace reality and move on with your life, cleared conscience and all.

#1. Forced Conversations

There’s something significantly uncomfortable about a strained conversation. Seriously, it’s like having to conserve a series of farts amidst a public event or important meeting.

Instead of nonchalantly letting it rip like a Beyblade, you allow your insides to withhold your gaseous fumes, until the perfect opportunity arrives. But enough about farting.

I’m sure we all could recall at least one person we used to talk to non-stop when we first met them. Purghaps a former crush, an old friend, or even a relative. You both talked for hours on-end about practically everything – the conversation simply flowed.

However, nowadays you find yourself walking on eggshells, overthinking a response just to string the conversation along. Face it. Things went from exciting and deep to awkward and meaningless.

Maybe now you have different goals you want to achieve and that person can’t seem to contribute or support your newfound ambition?

Maybe they’ve veered down a path you think is far too below your standards (not to be all sanctimonious about it).

Or purghaps, you’re yearning to discuss events and ideals, while all they want to do is talk about other people.

Whatever the case is, you’ve ran out of things to talk about because your outlook on life has changed and is no longer in sync with theirs. And that’s perfectly natural; we humans aren’t meant to be monolithic. You’ve simply outgrown that individual. Trust me, this won’t be last time this happens.

#2. You Avoid Them

Have you ever been constantly been asked to “hang out”, “chill”, or “catch-up”, and as soon as these kinds of question pop-up, you either immediately switch the topic or ignore the call to action altogether?

If you’re guilty of continuously doing this to a particular person or group, chances are you’re no longer interesting in entertaining their company. Especially if the very thought of meeting up with them drains you mentally.

Furthermore, if this reluctant spirit comes over you every time that other person brings up the idea of meeting up, it’s time to face facts – you’ve outgrown them.

So where do we go from here?

For the record, this may sound insane. But bare with for a moment.

Simply tell them you’re no longer interested in their company.

And I know it all seems very cut-throat and cruel, but they’ll appreciate your honesty and coherence in the long run. It sure as hell is a better alternative than having to turn down their millions of advances until they get the picture.

And by being more direct, you save yourself a bundle of time and energy you can put towards your own goals. Let them down gently as best as possible, but be direct.

And do be prepared to hear them say something along the lines of “you changed” ” you switched-up”, “you fake”, etc. They’re just butt-hurt. Shrug it off and remember that not everyone is supposed to remain with you as you grow and reach greater heights.

#3. You Stop Sharing Personal or Professional Accomplishments

Now, this one is definite proof that you’re maturing and becoming a different version of yourself. Normally, whenever something amazing happens in your life, you tend to want to share the news with those closest to you.

You look forward to seeing their genuine happiness for you mirrored by their reaction. You look forward to celebrating together and even encouraging one another to keep pushing towards greater goals.

Might I add that informing somebody of your wins or possible wins is very important and should not be taken lightly.

If you currently feel in any way, hesitant, frightened, or indifferent about informing someone who you once told a lot things to, ANYTHING (no matter how big or small) it might be time to cut ties.

And to be clear, this need to not tell them anything didn’t appear out of thin air. It came about from the last several times you reported your good news. Maybe they gave off a very unsettling energy (whether openly or covertly) – one of anger, jealously, bitterness, or malice.

Perhaps, they probably even tried downplaying your success, making it seem small in comparison to something they’ve already accomplished. This is a serious red flag and shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Or maybe your trust was violated in some way by outside forces. And this interference wasn’t a one-time occurrence and it feels allowed at this point. So, instead of subconsciously brushing it aside like last time, you draw back to save yourself from being disappointed and hurt once again.

Whichever the case, outgrow these type of people with a unremitting peace of mind. Trust me, you’re doing yourself a favor by shutting the everlasting fuck up and keeping it moving.

You don’t need any negative vibes emanating from within your circle while you’re heading for a higher level of success. Learn to move in the silence of the night!

#4. You ‘re No Longer Emotionally or Intellectually Stimulated

Some of the best friendships and relationships are based on stimulation. Physicality only goes so far people. You need someone who is going to keep you on your toes and engage you on several, different levels.

From personal experience, I recall “situationships” and friendships where stimulation was at an all-time high in the beginning. We’d converse on so many things that we both found interesting at the time.

But as I got older, learned more, and experienced more, my perspectives on certain things changed and I became more analytical of the world around me.

And a lot of my ideas brought up during conversations were either glossed over, ignored, or not understood. There was a lack of insightful input being reciprocated.

It was starting to feel like I was talking to myself. And I at the time, found myself delving down parts of my intellect to make other people comfortable.

All because I thought I was too lame, too weird, and too inadequate for their company. But in actuality, I was too blind to realize the truth. I had evolved into something they could no longer comprehend. I’ve outgrown their shallow conversations centered on being a basic-ass bitch.

Admittedly, it took me a while to morph and settle into this cognitive realization, but thankfully I did. I’m no longer keeping myself back emotionally or intellectually because other people find it intimidating or it makes them uncomfortable. I will never return to that sunken place.

Their opinion of me is not my problem.

So I say to you Insighters, never be afraid to truly and fully express yourself. And do so with those who will naturally engage you right back in purposeful discourse.

You’re more than deserving of that. Don’t settle for run-of-the-mill conversations with people who are obviously too lame or self-centered to understand you.

#5. You Constantly Bicker Over The Smallest Things

If you have someone in your life who you’re always battling (even over the most trivial things) and you see them as more of a hindrance than a help, then you just might have outgrown that person.

To you, it feels like they’ve been programmed to argue and scrutinize everything you say or do. And it’s honestly annoying.

I think we all can agree that life is tiring enough. So the last thing you need is someone who always finds themselves creased between by your johnny cakes, for little or nothing. The best thing to do before blowing a fuse is to address the behavior and note the reaction.

If things remain the same, then simply move on. Disengage from that individual as much as possible and continue to do your doanani do.

Chances are they’re dealing with some major insecurities and problems of their own and want to project that onto you and your resolution to remained focused.

Don’t put up with it, chuck your deuces, and be the referee in your own corner since they’re too busy being pugnacious and nit-picky with everything concerning you. Place your energy and time elsewhere. You’ve simply outgrown, there’s no need to argue that.

Final Thoughts

Well Insighters, I think it’s high-time you accept the fact that you’re becoming a better version of yourself. Therefore, you’ve outgrown some folk in the process.

And I know that this accepting this process is never easy. Hell, it can be outright confusing, painful, agonizing, even empowering in some cases.

Yet in any event, you should under no circumstance feel guilty or apologize for your maturity and progression. And don’t compromise positive parts of yourself to feed life to an inevitably death-written relationship/friendship.

Chances are, it was time for both you to move on. For your paths to cross during another time in life, or not.

Notwithstanding, as you navigate your way to greater success while becoming a greater version of yourself, be mindful of these signs and embrace them.

Remember, you deserve to become the optimum version of yourself, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Keep flourishing Insighters!

As always, take care of yourselves. Put your health and needs first. And continue to be your best, unapologetic self. Love you guys!

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