What started out to be a semi-decent introduction to the second month of 2019, quickly spiraled into a tumultuous tailwind of confuckery.
Bare with me people, as today’s post will sum up the main events as well as my thoughts on this very draining month. My writing today may be rather vague and scattered, but I’ll do my best so you get a glimpse of what I’ve been dealing with lately.
(If you’re new to Introverted-Insight, it’s really awesome to have you here. And if you’re a returning reader, welcome back! I’m always grateful to have you in my little space to be creative. By all means, enjoy today’s post and feel free to browse the site for more great content including short-stories and musical commentary!)
Undoubtedly, this month has brought me to a higher point of self-realization. I’ve recently used my voice to speak up against an issue, something familial. It’s one of those issues where I, along with other relatives found to be very unfair. We agreed that we were the ones who were being negatively affected by what has been taking place and that a change must be made.
So, when I said my piece and the impending confrontation broke out, I unsurprisingly bore the blame because I was the messenger. And people, let me tell you that the adage is true! The messenger always gets shot. Hell, I was practically crucified for speaking up.
However, the way in which this situation unraveled revealed to me that in the face of adversity, I will have only myself in my corner. Practically everyone who I spoke up for left me to be eaten alive by the wolves.
And sure enough, it pained me deeply to see those who I’ve time and time again regarded and treated so highly in my life abandon and turn on me when I needed them the most. (Lol, Avatar The Last Airbender Intro Plays in the background.)
They made me feel like I was the issue. That I was unfit or not allowed to have a voice like everyone else. Whether they realize it or not, they were trying to strip me of my humanity.
They were trying to cement me in the same stagnancy they’ve grown so accustomed to over the years. They tried to get me to conform to their particular brand of complacency. But I wholeheartedly refuse to do so.
And before I could fully wrap my head around the situation, I realized that I was seen as a radicalist. A madman. A threat to the way the system has been running. A threat that should be neutralized before it jeopardizes the selfish gain of the system’s beneficiaries.
Although my appeal was objective, it was taken personally. Hence, an array of accusations being salvoed my way. Substance abuse, quarter-life crisis, demons, and negative influences were among the many others. But all I could do at this point is laugh and shrug it all off.
Laugh because what I said was what others willingly agreed with me on before the confrontation occurred. Laugh because I was being accused of being influenced. My intelligence was basically being called into question. I actually felt a tad insulted. Like c’mon, I didn’t earn my Associates Degree in Engineering for nothing. Critical thinking and problem-solving is what engineers do.
Days have passed since the altercation occurred and I’ve just been more or less keeping to myself. I speak only when spoken to, and only look after my own well-being.
With prickly thorns still draping themselves around my head, I decided to delve deep within myself and portray a calm and collected Terran. Because that’s how I feel walking away from it all.
I did not allow the situation to get the better of me because my intentions were honest, just, and objective. All I wanted to do was introduce logic, critical thinking, and problem-solving to end a recurring cycle.
But anyway, I think I’ve given you all enough sea time on the thrashing waves of my life this month. Let’s talk about the positives of this month!
My blog garnered over 600 views for the month! I-I or Introverted-Insight has been steadily growing across the various social media profiles, especially from Twitter. I’m receiving a lot more comments on posts expressing positivity and encouragement. And these are the things that have been really keeping me going this month.
So thank you to EVERYBODY who played an integral role in supporting my baby, Introverted-Insight! Especially you, Elissa! You’ve been a tremendous help! Guys, go check her out on Twitter and IG, she’s the best!
♥instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegirlwhodroolswhenshesleeps/
♥twitter: https://twitter.com/31i55a
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**Final Thoughts**
I don’t know what the flim-flam is happening with the universe. I don’t know if I somehow disrespected someone in the universe’s head office on the day of their daughter’s birthday or something. But I know things will get better. They have to. A power that is greater than I will ensure of it.
In the same breath of optimism, I encourage ANYONE who has felt the wrath of this month to not lose sight of your ambitions and goals.
Do not think that for one second, you are entitled to morph into what everyone wants or expects you to be because they don’t fully understand you or feel uncomfortable with themselves.
Continue to keep a tunnel vision, stay fixated on your goals, be pleasant, and work towards a better future.
It is my assured hope that this month was the worst of 2019. I speak it into existence. Let’s walk lightly into March with the assurance that victory is afoot.
As always, take care of yourselves. Put your health and needs first. And continue to be your best, unapologetic self. Love you guys!
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Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see you next time on Introverted-Insight!
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Terran Brice
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Jasraj
Well done, you, for speaking up. It’s incredibly challenging, I find, in such familial environments of strongly held-beliefs and unwritten rules. And gosh do I dislike conflict. Also – congrats on the “views” milestone!
Terran Brice
Thank you for understanding where I was coming from. I too hate conflict but believed that it was a matter that needed to be addressed for my own betterment in the long run. It’s been rough, but things are looking up for me and I’m excited. And yes, thank you! I’m happy February at least brought in some great numbers for my baby.
Ruth
It was interesting to read this because I actually went through something similar in January. I spoke up about something and then felt like the bad guy for doing so.
It’s bizarre because I’m always being told to speak my mind more, and then get punished when I do! However, I remain proud of the fact that I said what I needed to and you should be, too.
But, February was much better, so I’m hoping March will be better for you. 🙂
Terran Brice
Thank you so much for this Ruth. I’m glad I’m not the only who went through such persecution for utilizing my humanity – my right to speak. I’m happy the following month got better for you. And yes, March will be waaaay better, I speak it into existence!